Getting hit by a freight train feels like this...

Goodnight Moon The Sun has finally taken her last bow She has fallen with no one to catch her But will rise again when morning comes Oh, Moon, where have you gone?

Here's another one I wrote back in 2009 still.  Again, emo back in 2009, so this is still very, very angst-ridden. DISJOINTED I'm not so much alive as dead It's all too much All just too much to bear I love you No one-night stand would do But it's been so long I lost calendar days Keeping up with your pace Flying on rooftops Skipping on stones Playing on cartwheels Thinking of you alone I'm no good If not with you I can't be surreptitious Even if I wanted to Hidden in a void so deep Playing with Sandman in my sleep I come sent by car crash hearts Where broken bones are a way of life It makes no sense I take no heed I only want to make me bleed

This is a poem I wrote way back in mid 2009.  It was a very emo year for me so please forgive the angst that was so blatantly thrown into this thing.  I'm happier with my life now.  My depression problem is still there, but with everything going on in my life right now, particularly my love life, things had been shaping up for me. :) PAIN It's the pain It's always about the pain And will always be about the pain At the end of the day It's all that will remain It chases away the rainbows of life So step up and dance The farce on the edge of a knife Skittering on the edge of a blade Take a good, long look At the life that I have made.

I love my quiet time, my “me” time. Sitting at Starbuck’s, sipping my frapuccino, cigarette between my fingers, and a good book to keep me company while a good rock band is pounding in my ears. Life is good when I can have moments like these. A time when I can just sit back, relax, and watch the world pass me by as I ponder the existence of my life. Or just a small portion of my life when I can sit still and empty my always churning mind.  This is my moment. My silence. The only time I can actually act sane. Chaos is overrated as it is. Silence is constant.  I live for solitude. My solitude. I act like a social person, may even interact with other people with the best of them. But really, my heart beats to the music of loneliness. Loneliness with sadness is only a part of it. Loneliness with calmness and peace is really what I strive to achieve. And I am able to do so when I am able to experience moments of solitude where I can just blend with the background and watch pe...

Hand to heart Heart in hand As the sun shone behind his face He stared at his reflection on a glass pane And moved to the rhythm of her beating heart Believing for a moment that it could be his Even if he thought it could only happen in his dreams That he would be able to hold her and Embrace her and make her his Hand to heart Heart in hand He watched her He watched her move sinuously To the sound of another man's heart He watched her move He watched her laugh He listened to her giggle He listened to her sigh She teased She smiled And finally, she looked his way Hand to heart Heart in hand He made his way across the room To where she stood Mouth dry Mind blank He walked slowly, deliberately Until he was right in front of her Hand to heart Heart in hand Honey-brown eyes met warm, chocolate-browns He took her hand in his And gave her his heart "Here is my heart Do as you see fit Although I wish that you will take care of it In case it bre...

Grammatically incorrect statements, whether written or verbal, ticks me off big time.  You can say that this is one of my major pet peeves, having been raised in a house where your mom is a grammar-nazi.  Also, I grew up with cousins who spent almost their entire lives in Canada and barely spoke Filipino at all, which caused me to learn Tagalog quite late in my youth. Now, don't get me wrong, guys.  I have nothing against our native tongue.  I'm actually quite fond of speaking in Filipino and had become quite fluent in it as I grew older, but the English language is my bread and butter.  You see, I work in a call center. Working in a call center exposes you to so many things, and one of them is bad grammar.  Agents saying "Can I hold you for a while?" instead of saying "May I put you on hold?" to their clients or "I'll gonna be able to..." instead of "I will be able to..." are just some of the statements that would burn through yo...

Do you know how it's like to feel too much? Have you ever felt so much you thought you're going to explode? You practically crawl out of your skin because all the emotions are so overwhelming -- too overwhelming -- that you don't know what to do with yourself anymore? To feel pain ripping through your chest like it was nothing but a piece of flimsy paper? I do. Every. Fucking. Day. I feel too much. I'm not talking about empathy. I'm talking about pure, unadulterated emotions coursing through your entire body your chest feels too tight; your skin stretched too thin. You want to scream, hurl, laugh, cry, puke, pass out...anything. Just fucking anything to stop wave after wave after wave of emotion from washing over you like the surf breaking on rocks. Have you ever cried so hard you actually ended up short of breath? Sobs so heart and gut-wrenching that whoever overhears the sounds that you make will think that some kind of animal is hurt. But then...