Essay #1: Silence

She thought her relationship with her friends already seemed unhealthy.  As the days progress, she feels more and more like an outsider and it was driving her insane.  There’s always that hitch in her throat and her heart palpitates with so much sadness to see their friendship fall apart.  There’s also this insane idea in her brain that either she’s the only one who notices it or that she’s really that much different from them.  She’s just really, totally, and outrageously different from her friends.

She wasn’t cool.  She was a geek pretending to be cool, and the pretension was getting to her.  It was eating her from the inside – an insatiable termite living in her psyche.

She was tired of always having to put on masks and barriers and walls all around her.  It was making her hurt all over more and more each day.  The walls that she had put up were starting to close in on her and she had no one else to blame but herself.

Her chest felt heavy with so much anger, frustration and sadness.  She needed to cry, but the tears just won’t flow.  She won’t survive this world alone.  She needed some sort of release.  But she just could not find any.  She needed solace…comfort…but none was forthcoming.

She knew that there was only one way out for her, and by God she was very willing – now more than ever – to do it.

She walked around the room with a gun to her head, her finger itching to squeeze the trigger. Nobody noticed that she was at the brink of death. Nobody seemed to care. Nobody was looking and she stops. Her heart raced as it anticipated the explosion that was to be her head. She smiled as she said goodbye. She knew it was time. Time for her to go.

Time to go.  One less pathetic, worthless creature for the world to take care of.

So she said goodbye and squeezed the trigger.

She finally found peace.

Silence.